Where do you draw the line?

Each of us is different and has varying needs, desires, talents, capabilities, capacities, and tolerances. And to achieve our natural best we need our own space in which to operate at our own pace. 

Are you proactive in clarifying your “space” and drawing the line with others, which is healthy, or reactive, which often leads to dysfunction and disconnect?

Since not everyone respects other people’s spaces it is both healthy and necessary to designate our space with an appropriate fence [boundary] – most times figuratively…sometimes literally. This is especially true for people with more passive personalities who feel pressured by those with more aggressive personalities. 

It is also true in business settings where there is immense pressure to produce [more] and where goals and lines of authority are not clearly communicated. How much is enough? When do we stop? Who has the right to tell me what to do?

Most people are afraid to say no and/or set boundaries for fear of losing their job or a relationship. We need our jobs and we have an innate need to be connected with others. That is why many people agree to do things they either don’t want to do, are not well suited for, don’t believe in, or which push them beyond healthy limits. Hence, it is important for everybody to learn how to establish appropriate boundaries, because living without boundaries is a recipe for disconnection, dysfunction, discontent, and burnout.

In the New York Times bestseller, Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help people learn when to say yes and how to say no in order to take control of their life and set healthy boundaries with their spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, bosses, and even themselves.

In this book they help people answer many tough questions, including the following:

• Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
• What are legitimate boundaries?
• How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn’t control me?
• What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
• How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
• Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
• How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage?
• Aren’t boundaries selfish?

Great leaders create healthy boundaries because their goal is to create teams where individuals operating at their natural best come together to produce extraordinary results as part of a synergistic team.

Herb Mast is a Leadership Coach and Employee Engagement Specialist. Learn how he can assist you in implementing the principles and concepts presented here.