The heart in this context has little to do with the blood-pumping organ in your chest, which is simply an organ that responds to signals from the brain and chemicals flowing in the blood, whether produced by the body or introduced into the blood stream by some other means.

Rather, when we speak of the heart and mind we are actually making reference to emotions and thoughts, the two main components of our brains—the limbic and Neocortex, respectively—which are responsible for creating human connections and motivating behavior. 

Research has shown that emotions [heart] are three times more impactful in creating human connections and driving behavior, than is rational thought [mind]. We are hard-wired emotional beings and when we operate in line with how we are wired everything works better.

That is why it is more important to have a meeting of the heart before trying to have a meeting of the mind. The heart acts like a filter or lens through which rational thought is interpreted. A meeting of hearts first makes a meeting of minds much easier.

Here is a practical example. I was recently involved in a conversation between the sales and service depts. of a dealership. These depts. are notoriously at odds with each other as each tries to glean gross from each car deal for their own dept. seemingly to the detriment of the other. 

At the beginning of the meeting the General Manager welcomed the managers to share their concerns with the other as he wrote their concerns on a whiteboard. Once the concerns had been listed the General Manager instinctively wanted to start handling each of the concerns in turn.

I jumped in and asked the group whether we could spend a little time having a meeting of the hearts first before trying to have a meeting of the minds. The leaders gave me a little bit of blank stare so I explained that each of them has feelings that is based on both perception and reality, although probably more perception. I further explained that these feelings either further or inhibit our ability to resolve our concerns and differences. And until we have a meeting of the hearts it would be difficult to have a meeting of the minds. They seemed to understand so we proceeded further.

I asked each manager to share how they felt about the other leader and their dept., which led to a great conversation about why they felt that way. Once we were able to clear up the emotional disconnects we were able to work through each of the previously stated concerns with relative ease.

To be more effective great leaders seek a meeting of the heart before attempting a meeting of the mind.

Herb Mast is a Leadership Coach and Employee Engagement Specialist. Learn how he can assist you in implementing the principles and concepts presented here.