Typically whenever we think of stress we think of it in negative terms. I have come to learn in recent years, however, that not all stress is bad stress.
The first thing to understand is that stress can either be a reaction [bad] or a response [good] by our bodies to stimuli, which is either triggered by external factors or conjured up from within us. In theory nobody can impose stress on us, although that’s how it usually feels.
Stress is a function of how we react or respond to stimuli. By developing greater mindfulness we can learn to recognize the stimuli and choose a less stressful response before it triggers us in a negative way.
There is much written about how to cope, manage, and overcome negative stress and to reduce its negative effects. Unfortunately, there is not as much written about positive stress and how to turn negative stress to our advantage.
Regardless of the type of negative stress experienced, one of the main issues with negative stress is how our bodies react to it by producing a hormone called cortisol, often together with adrenalin.
Cortisol does a number of things including shutting down our creative brains and putting our bodies into fight, flight, or freeze mode. This is a good thing when we face dangers and need our motor functions to dominate our thinking functions and get us away from danger and to safety. But it is not a good thing when we need to access our thinking functions, like when solving complex business issues, and instead our minds “shut down.”
I discovered the concept of challenge stress, a form of positive stress, a number of years ago. It has not only allowed me to achieve more, but to experience less of the negative effects of bad stress.
Challenge stress is a response style and a choice. Hence, it requires intentionality. In other words, when we encounter stress factors we can choose to accept them as a challenge rather than allowing them to shut us down.
I have also learned that when things are imposed on me [externally] by others it creates negative stress and the release of cortisol—causing me to react. However, when I choose my own path and impose things on myself [internally] it creates positive challenge stress and the release of adrenalin without the release of cortisol, which means that I get the positive boost while my thinking brain remains active.
For example, I travel extensively and when I am on the road the days can be long, especially when flights are delayed or cancelled. The fact that I set my own schedule and book all of my own travel gives me a tremendous amount of control. I work hard and push myself, but ultimately since the choices are all mine I find that what would otherwise be negative stress is turned into challenge stress. If, on the other hand, others dictated my schedule, telling me where I needed to go and when, the negative stress would become overwhelming and lead to disengagement and burnout—I would not be able to handle as a big a workload.
As detailed in Dr. Kelly McGonigal’s book The Upside of Stresshere are five common ways people respond to stress:
Freeze Response: You may become paralyzed, overwhelmed or feel hyper-vigilant.
Fight Response: You feel a sense of competitiveness, aggression, or self-defense. Your body is readying itself to “fight” within the context of the situation.
Flight Response: Often reported in connection with “fight,” with this response you seek to escape, avoid, or withdraw.
Challenge Response: How you think about stress matters enormously in terms of how you process it. Some people view stress as a threat, while others are able to view it as a challenge. With a challenge response, you get additional energy, your heart rate rises, and your adrenaline goes up, but it differs in a few important ways from fight or flight: a. you feel focused instead of fearful; b. you release a different ratio of stress hormones; and c. you are more easily able to access your mental and physical resources. The result is enhanced concentration, peak performance, and more confidence. In fact, people who are able to think about stress more like a challenge and less like a threat report less depression and anxiety, higher levels of energy, work performance, and life satisfaction. These questions can help you harness a challenge response:
- Where do I have control/influence/leverage in the situation?
- What is a specific action step I can take?
- What are my strengths?
- What resources do I have?
- What allows me to know that I can handle this?
Tend-and-Befriend Response: This type of response increases courage, motivates caregiving, and strengthens social relationships. It can be tempting to think, “I can handle this all by myself” in a stressful situation, but in reality, your stress response is actually pushing you to seek out help and become more prosocial. I’ll never forget the interaction I had with a colleague before our respective speaking engagements a few years ago. She rushed over to me and said, “I’m so nervous.” I said that I was too, and we had an interesting conversation about the various strategies we use to calm our nerves before any big “performance.” That little act of vulnerability on her part left us both feeling better and more confident. I’m a big fan of the tend-and-befriend response style because being able to reach out to close friends, colleagues, and family members is central to resilience, flourishing, well-being, happiness, and just about every other positive metric of human functioning.While the tend-and-befriend stress response style was initially thought to characterize female stress response styles, research has shown that men exhibit this response style as well. In one such study, the researchers hypothesized that a group of stressed-out men would be more likely to exhibit a fight-or-flight response to stress, but found the opposite to be true. They discovered that the men who had just gone through a stressful experience were more likely to extend trust to a stranger and were more likely to be perceived as trustworthy generally – stress had made this group of men more prosocial.
Great leaders invite their people take on challenges, rather than imposing tasks.
Herb Mast is a Leadership Coach and Employee Engagement Specialist. Learn how he can assist you in implementing the principles and concepts presented here.
